I was having a random conversation with my sister, about self-discovery and self-acceptance, and it actually turned into an eye opener more than just a random conversation. It made me realize how self-acceptance is mostly a tough exercise to perform because we are often subconsciously comfortable with our insecurities. Let me make this clearer by telling you something about myself.

The top 3 insecurities I’ve had about myself from a young age, have been my big forehead, weight and the little gap between my two front teeth. I was insecure about my weight because I felt that I was too skinny, but it wasn’t just a feeling, the random comments and little remarks people made about my weight, added to the insecurity. I’d say my childhood was stolen from me because I didn’t know better, I hated how I looked. I am not skinny anymore, must say I’m on the opposite side of that world and thank God because gaining weight 22 years later took my confidence on my physical appearance from 10/100 to 90. Why 90? Through experiencing how it feels to be in both worlds {i.e. being skinny then fleshy} I realized how it has never been about what other people preferred as a normal weight, but it has always been about what I decide to feel towards my weight when I look on the mirror. Because reality is that perfection is an illusion.

What do I see on the mirror? I see a young woman who is trying to come to terms with not having a small waist and a colossal hip, not having stretchmarks-free thighs, not having belly fat or cellulite. I see a young woman who is either the complete opposite or almost what society has perceived as perfect woman. Looking back, it hits me that the same people who said I was too skinny, are probably the same people who created the idea of a perfect woman. I take back my power by loving how I look and not being ashamed of it.

There are more than enough reasons why we have the insecurities that we have about ourselves, but none is big enough to justify why we cannot make effort to confront and accept the flaws we possess. It does not have to be a physical insecurity; we subconsciously carry a lot of them in our characters. I for one am a very sensitive and emotional person, most of the time I get hurt by the smallest of things people do, and I have to live with it. With people in my space, it’s different because they know me and what ticks me off, but I cannot expect a total stranger I bump into on the streets to know me to that extent. This applies to all of us, not everyone you meet will know that you are very emotional, sensitive, short tempered, introvert, shy the list goes on and on, and it’s okay. It’s not wrong that you easily get hurt or mad about things, that you can’t easily speak up for yourself whenever it’s necessary or that people can’t joke just about anything and everything with you because you get offended. Don’t feel guilty or angry about who and how you are.

Surround yourself with people who understand you, that way you don’t spend the rest of your life hating certain parts of yourself. As Dr Thema says,

“I hope you find someone who speaks your language, so you don’t have to spend a lifetime translating your spirit”

It is my deepest wish for you as you read this, that you look and find ways to love & build yourself instead of cursing yourself down because all the flaws you were ever just meant to embrace.